Wednesday, August 06, 2008

I'm feeling nostalgic again , oh what's new?
Sweetest things how lovely they are.




YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ THIS BECAUSE IT'S GONNA BE ANOTHER LENGTHY AND MELODRAMATIC ENTRY.






I think 2007 is one of the best years for me i hate to admit it. Though it was met with quite a handful of downs , what is it compared to the remaining tremendous happynest i had. The very first thing that would flash right into my head would be how close the clique used to be , how damn awesome we were , how damnit inseparable we were , how we freaking found joy in bitching about people(just some irresistable particular ones) , how we were infinitely sick of yet still continually binged on yami yoghurt shilin chicken cafe galilee student meal steamboat , and the aftermath of friggin' os that we studied together for , fiona's birthday party picnic eskibar movies zara levis work work work new year eve's night together watching the amazing fireworks , how many countless times we almost got into trouble with others , marina square makan sutra watching people doing stupid things at esplanade thai express , how the 4 girls occassionally chill over at fiona's and go on about designer bags , how we want to rent a house and live together after university or poly , buy 4 units of terraces and live beside each other after getting married , shop , ladies' night /stayovers and travel overseas together like super krazzeee in our 20s , spa facials manicure pedicure splurge continue to shop and travel like krazzeeee in our 30s , high tea shop travel many many many ladies' night dvds cook cook bake bake in our 40s , mahjongzzz ttm shoppppppp travel cheat on our spouse(kidding) doll up our grandchildren etc etc in our 50s.
If dreams do come true , i have only two wishes and that is for us(the entire clique) to relive the old times and let all our dreams come true.
Fiona Angelyn Vera Sophia. I know we stuck we stick we will stick and never will be apart. I love you girlies with whatever love i can muster.

Sometimes i feel that this world is way too superficial and unbelievable it makes me so difficult to wholly trust a person. No , i'm not saying i'm not superficial. C'mon admit it , everyone is to a certain extent. Right. What i'm implying here is , i can never tell a person's motive or intention for the things that she or he does that may always seem harmless at first but not eventually. I will never know if that person truly accepts the way i am or is unsatisfied with the flaws i have. I will never know how a person reads and categorizes me. All these little things pull me away from opening up myself to someone new or even someone whom i know but not close to , make me wrench my eyes away , make me feel sometimes i'm alone with the exception of a few close friends. I tell myself these few close friends plus my boyfriend they are quite enough for me. Is it true? I can't answer myself. Tell me i'm not alone , tell me someone else or everyone else actually feels this way too.

I'm not exactly sad , but i just tend to zonk into my own world and think and reminisce a litte too much for my own sake.




I felt like i was suppressing every inch of emotion in me i need to let my bestfriend know how i feel. I miss you i miss you i miss you alistair farmer koh. Pardon me for the random message i text(ed) you this morning. Have i told you that you mean more than anyone? Have i told you that i would give up almost everything just to see that smile on your face? Have i ever told you that your happiness means more than mine? Now you know. You're somebody , that very special somebody , whom i'll feel the most comfortable with in my own skin. That special somebody whom i'm willing to put aside my pride for , whom i'll relentlessly give in to. I don't need to be the number 1 in your life , i just need you to stay where you are standing now ; number 1 in my life.
I love you , definitely more than i love or care for myself.



Stop the world and melt with me.