I'm feeling nostalgic.
Tomorrow i'll be having a proper date with sheng, just the both of us. I miss the times when we had all the time and money(not alot, but sufficient to spare) to go everywhere and do everything together, before friends become a major part in our lives. Night safari, hilltop walks and dinners, walking the dogs, playing in sentosa, baking, escape theme park, wasting money on silly neoprints, acting like tourists in singapore did everything a tourist would do, sitting along esplanade or singapore river just enjoying each others' presence.
Those were the days, you feel me?
I'm not talking about the conventional lunch, shopping, movie then dinner and head home after that feeling satisfied that we got errands done, caught the movie we were dying to watch, and feeling the aftermath of the yummy dinner. Unfortunately(or maybe fortunate to most of you), that's pretty much the kind of life we're having now. Maybe like a stagnant couple? Nay that's not the kind of relationship i want, not the commercialised kind at least. Maybe i was the one who actually made things this way cos of my shopping habits and my random(inserts always) cravings for food, or maybe it could be him cos of the movies he wants to catch. It could just be the both of us that commercialised our own relationship. I'm definitely not saying that our relationship has turned sour, or at a point that we stop loving each other.
Because of all the sweet memories i have of him, of our relationship, and because i know how much he still loves me and how much he cares, i want to make things back to how it was like. It's not easy, to go back to the starting point. Y'know the feeling whereby your heart will flutter and butterflies in your stomach when you see a cute guy, a cute guy whom you're quite sure you're already in love with. It's definitely not easy, but i love him so much that i'mma make things work.
Although sometimes he makes me angry, sad, disappointed(often but getting better), neglected, insignificant or any possible negative feeling one can get that sometimes i wish i could slap him in the face step on his feet and walk out on him(sounds like a brutal abusive woman but no!), but no i will never do that to him because when i look into his heart, i know all the things he did that saddened me are unintentional, and that's all that matters. To slap him would be like slapping myself, just twice as hard. To step him on his feet would be like punching my own heart, to walk out on him i'd actually be walking out on myself.
To have sheng in my life is probably the biggest blessing i could ever ever ask for. He may seem like an ordinary guy, an ordinary friend or boyfriend to some of you or even to his friends but he's so different in my eyes. He's a guy with a heart of gold, be it to the poor or needy, or to his family and me. This kinda guy attracts me so much, and he's one who made the cut for everything when i silently secretly set my expectectaions.
I love his innocence, his childlike faith and trust in things, his respect for me, and his generosity to always give me the best, even his generosity towards his friends. I love the way he looks me in the eye, the way he embraces me in his arms, the way he makes me feel good about myself, the way he assures me that things will always be alright, the way he cushions my fall, the way he's always there to wipe my tears. I'll never look down on him for things he can't accomplish because i believe in him. He has a pair of hidden hands filled with potential, he has talents that have yet to be unleashed. He'll always be a guy who holds a place in my heart higher than anyone or anything.
You open my eyes to the world, a different world filled with colours and simplicity. You make me see how simple it is to love someone and to be loved. You make me believe that love wasn't just made for others. It was predestined, made for you and i.
I hope we have a great time tomorrow.
This long page is the first part of your present which i promised to give you, you'll receive your 2nd part tmr ^^
LUV YOU.
8 for the number of paragraphs.
11 for the times my heart cringed while typing this.
811 they sum up the days we've been together for (:
xx
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